Column: The Clumsy Challenge

     by Matt Anderson

Midfielder Michael Bradley (front) dispossesses England Midfielder Frank Lampard (whining).
The U.S. look to improve on a lackluster showing against England as they take on Spain today.

One week after a rather complacent United States side fell to England 2-0, they are preparing to face Spain in the second of three friendly matches taking place in Europe and the US. This is part of an effort of the United States Soccer Federation to expose their senior national side to the some of the world’s best. If you watched last Wednesday’s match against England like I did, you’re probably just as concerned.

Realistically, the United States stood a legitimate chance to win last week’s game, and even the most ardent of England supporters were expecting a hard fought game. Bluntly, it wasn’t. Instead of adopting an aggressive high speed, guns blazing, extra hot sauce tactic towards the English, the U.S. sat on their laurels and reacted (poorly) to wave after wave of England’s own dangerous attacks. Had Jermain Defoe or Wayne Rooney been able to finish their abundant chances to score, it could have been a thorough and extensive beat-down. Even with the 2-0 score, the United States appeared to rely on mistakes made by the English to stay in the game, which is a policy that will cost them dearly against Spain.

[Read more]

Indiana: 60% farmland, 40% Charlie Weis

With summer right around the corner, it’s time to start making your summer road tripping plans! The problem is: your plans are terrible. No one wants to see the world’s largest ball of yarn, do they? No one wants to go to Branson unless they’re a member of AARP. Well I’m here to help all you road ninjas; and to keep you from sawing logs at the wheel, I’m reviewing the five most boring states to drive through so you can get to your precious antique shops in as few pieces as possible! Snoring in at number five on our list is the peanut butter state, Indiana!

The first thing that you’ll notice when you enter Indiana is a welcome sign. On this sign is the nebulous slogan “Crossroads of America.” Now really, it must take more work to come up with a slogan this boring. I can just see some chump hard at work at the Indiana Bureau of Creativity coming to his boss saying “Sir, I have come up with a motto well befitting our great state: The Crossroads of America!” His boss should have said “Jenkins you imbecile, that’s not a motto, it’s rubbish!” I would call this out with such descriptors as a “let down” or “pathetic,” but I don’t want to give the impression that I hold any expectations for Indiana.

[Read more]

“YEAH WE WON! MICHIGAN SUC-GAARRHRHHGHAGHHH!!!!”

What happens when a college heaves itself blindly into the throws of mindless pretentiousness and academic mediocrity, while exhorting a better-than-thou pomposity exceeded only by the French? You get Ohio State University. Now combine it with cheap beer, red jerseys and couch burning, and you’ve created an Ohio State Fan!

[Read more]

As a member of one of six universities who care about collegiate hockey, it has been a disappointment of monumental proportions to witness the defeat Michigan at the hands of Notre Dame, in what may go down as one of the greatest choke jobs in college hockey. In spite of having the best regular season record in the CCHA at 33-5-4 and a number one overall seed, Michigan has managed to perform the feat of underachievement, an aggravating new trend in Michigan athletics.

[Read more]