We’ve been cleaning a bit of house recently here at the Dic, and we came across some things that had been earmarked for BD Salutes, but then buried under stacks and stacks of pornography. But our love of baseball, smoking and sticking it to the man mandated that these bits of news not go unrecognized.

First, and most recent, Cleveland Indians second baseman Asdrubal Cabrera completed just the 14th unassisted triple play in Major League history Monday night. Pretty ballsy, right? Wrong. Upon reviewing the video, we’ve decided to downgrade this from a full-fledged Salute to a more modest Tip of the Cap. Seriously, this video was the biggest letdown since the Mir spacestation didn’t crash into Taco Bell’s huge Pacific target.

But not all things are that lame when you see the video. Our second Big Diction Salute goes to Jose Castelar of Cuba, for recently rolling the world’s longest cigar, clocking in at 148 feet, 9 inches. I haven’t seen anyone smoke something this long since… well, it’s been awhile. If you’re into videos, click here. If you prefer words, click there.

In the spirit of saving the best of the worst for last, big ups go out this week to a pair of Texas jurors who were both recently arrested on job. First, coming to us from Houston, Texas, is Cornelia Mayo, who a week ago Tuesday was arrested for smoking a joint outside the Houston courthouse. But what would a BD Salute be without a little irony? As it turns out, Ms. Mayo was being considered as a juror for a marijuana possession trial. Almost as stupid and perhaps more entertaining though, is the story of Mr. John Shevetz. Shevetz was scheduled for jury duty in Georgetown, Texas on April 21st, and like any well-to-do citizen, he was punctual in his arrival. Unfortunately, he was also drunk on arrival, and promptly arrested on charges of public intoxication. If only there were a suitable attorney out there to represent these two…